Living With Loss!

Loss…

Loss has made me different….

Loss has shattered my dreams…

Loss has required me to keep pressing on, even when I think I can’t…

Loss has rearranged how I think…

Loss has made me “feel” different, alone, and vulnerable…

Loss has stolen from my kids, and soon to be granddaughters…

Loss has taken our empty nester dreams…

Loss…

The definition of loss to mislay; to part or be separated from a thing, so as to have no knowledge of the place where it is. 

BUT I know where Ronn is and the hope that I will see him again, but there is still the living in the reality of loss.

Some are surprised that it still hurts this much. I think that it’s hard to reconcile deep loss and we want to be able to tie it up with a pretty bow and move on. Suffering is hard and often uncomfortable. But the power lies in breaking through the stigma and have authentic real conversations. It’s important to talk about it so that others can find the freedom and know that they aren’t alone. It’s vital to provide spaces where the depth of their loss can be exposed to the air of life. Where others can know that they are seen and heard free from judgement or assumptions. 

Has there been healing, of course.

Has there been a reprise of the despair, of course.

Has there been a release of deep pain, of course. 

But the hole of loss is still there, often leading me to the edge of it and it’s only by the grace of God that I don’t fall into it. It’s a silent partner that walks with me. I know it’s there, but it doesn’t have the loudest voice. Truth does. The truth that life still has meaning, that it can still be full and to learn to live with expectations of the abundance God says is mine. 

I’ve learned to ride the waves…

I’ve learned that you can still move forward..

I’ve learned how to be resilient…

I’ve learned a depth of pain can coexist with love…

I’ve learned….